What to Do When Your Family Can’t Agree on
Succession Planning

Family discussion around farm succession planning

 Succession planning sounds simple enough. That is, until you try to get everyone on the same page.

One person wants to take over, another isn’t ready to step back, and another feels left out or overlooked. Suddenly, a conversation about the future turns into misunderstandings and assumptions, or worse, silence.

If your family is stuck and not sure how to move forward, you’re not alone. The good news? There is a way through, and it doesn’t have to end in arguments or hurt feelings.

Why it’s so hard to agree

Succession planning is about more than just money or land. It’s about people – family roles, respect, and feeling valued. Here’s why it’s tricky:

  • Everyone comes to the table with different hopes, fears, and expectations.
  • Past family history and unspoken feelings can make conversations harder.
  • Succession conversations bring up a lot of emotions. Fear of losing control, guilt about stepping back, frustration when things feel unfair, sadness over change, and worry about the future. These feelings are deeply personal and often unspoken, which makes talking openly really tough.

What not to do

When family tensions rise, it’s natural to want to avoid difficult conversations but putting them off usually makes things worse, not better. Here’s why:

  • Silence breeds confusion and resentment. When nobody talks, assumptions take over. People can fill in the gaps with worst-case scenarios, which can lead to bitterness and misunderstandings.

  • Rushing decisions causes bigger problems later. Trying to force a quick fix without everyone’s input often leads to regrets and new conflicts down the track. Succession never ends, it’s not a one-off event.

  • Leaving everything to the lawyers before the family talks only adds tension. Legal advice is important, but jumping straight to contracts without family agreement can feel like taking sides, which can widen the divide.

What can you do

The good news is there’s a better way. Here’s how you can move forward, calmly, clearly, and without the usual stress:

  • Set aside dedicated time for the conversation. Find a time when everyone can come together without distractions or pressure. These talks deserve space and respect.

  • Bring in a neutral third party. A skilled facilitator or adviser can help keep the discussion fair and productive, making sure everyone’s voice is heard and emotions don’t derail progress.

  • Start by agreeing on shared values. Before diving into details about land or finances, focus on what everyone wants for the farm and the family. That shared vision will guide your plan and keep everyone aligned.

What real progress looks like

No succession plan will make every single person 100% happy, but a strong plan means:

  • Clear roles and responsibilities for each family member. Everyone knows their part and what’s expected.

  • A realistic timeline for the transition with a plan that fits your family’s pace. Try to avoid rushing or stalling. 

 

  • Everyone feels listened to and respected, even if compromises are needed, people feel their concerns are valued.

  • The farm remains strong and viable, alongside healthy family relationships that can last for generations.

You don't have to go it alone

Succession planning can feel overwhelming, confusing, or even emotional. That’s completely normal. But the right support makes all the difference.

At Lifesolver, we help families just like yours navigate this journey with clarity and confidence. Whether you’re just starting to think about succession or already feeling the pressure to act, we’re here to help you take the right steps, at a pace that suits your family.

Want to dive deeper into succession planning?

Ready to get started?

Book a strategy call with us today, or join our free webinar, How to Hand Over the Farm Without Losing Control, Family Harmony, or Your Legacy.

Let’s work together to protect what matters most, your farm and your family.

Ready to move forward, but not sure where to start?

We help families like yours have the conversations that matter most, calmly, clearly, and without pressure.
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