It’s one of the most important – and most difficult – conversations a farming family can have, but what to do when your parents don’t want to talk about succession Planning? If you’ve ever tried to bring up the topic, only to be met with resistance or silence, you’re not alone.
I’ve worked with many farming families who are stuck in this exact position. They know succession planning is important, but when it comes time to talk about handing down the farm, things can become tricky.
So, what do you do when your parents don’t want to talk about succession? Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.
Talking about succession can be tough for everyone involved. Your parents have likely spent decades building the farm, and the idea of letting go of that can be terrifying. It’s not always just about the business either – it’s about their identity, their legacy, and sometimes, the fear of the unknown.
When you start the conversation about succession planning, it’s really important to approach it with empathy. Acknowledge how hard this must be for them, and let them know that you’re not trying to push them out. Rather, you want to have a conversation about the future and how to keep the farm thriving for generations to come.
Timing is everything. Trying to bring up something as significant as succession during a stressful time on the farm will likely get you nowhere. Instead, find a quiet moment when everyone is a bit more relaxed. Maybe it’s after dinner or on a quiet afternoon, or perhaps you can set aside time specifically for the conversation, like a long weekend away from the farm. Make it clear that this isn’t a one-time conversation – it’s just the beginning of an ongoing discussion.
For a lot of parents, succession feels like the “end” of their involvement with the farm. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The conversation doesn’t have to be about walking away completely. Instead, focus on how succession is about the future of the farm – its growth, sustainability, and legacy.
Talk about how you envision the farm thriving for years to come and how both generations can continue to contribute in different ways.
If emotions are running high or the conversation is at a standstill, bringing in a neutral third party, such as a mediator, financial planner, or succession expert, can help. A professional can facilitate the conversation, help identify potential issues, and provide solutions that might not be immediately obvious to family members.
Sometimes, having an objective perspective can bring clarity and prevent misunderstandings. Plus, it shows your parents that you’re serious about making this a smooth transition and not just pushing them into a decision.
You don’t need to solve everything in one conversation. If your parents aren’t ready to talk about all aspects of succession, start small. Discuss general ideas, long-term goals, or share your thoughts on how you’d like to be involved in the future of the farm.
By building trust gradually, you can open the door for more in-depth conversations down the line. Small steps lead to progress, and eventually, your parents will see that planning for succession is a positive, necessary part of ensuring the farm’s future success.
One of the most important things to remember is that patience is key. Succession is a complex, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming topic. Your parents may need time to come to terms with the idea. Respect their pace and give them the space they need to process.
It’s okay if they’re not ready to make decisions immediately. Keep the lines of communication open, and continue to approach the topic with empathy and care. Over time, your parents may feel more comfortable discussing the future.
Succession planning is about preserving what the farm means to the family and ensuring that its values, traditions, and legacy continue. It’s about having the courage to talk openly and honestly, even when the conversation is difficult.
When your parents aren’t ready to talk about succession, don’t give up. Start the conversation with empathy, patience, and a focus on the future. By approaching the topic in a thoughtful way, you can create a supportive environment where both generations feel heard and valued.
With time, trust, and understanding, you can ensure the farm’s future is in good hands, and that the family legacy continues for generations to come.
Let’s chat about how to start the conversation and make the process smoother for everyone involved. Reach out for advice on planning for the future with a free 15-minute appointment with Matt.
Want more insight into passing on the family farm? Read our other blogs on succession planning.
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Succession planning is one of the most important – and most difficult – conversations a farming family can have. But what happens when your parents aren’t ready to talk about it? If you’ve ever tried to bring up the topic, only to be met with resistance or silence, you’re not alone.
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